turning 40 and kareoke

my hubby just turned 40 and i thought id organise a lipsync video for his party of all his friends singing “don’t stop believing” by journey.. hilarious.. so i sung my loudest karaoke voice (it’s not pretty) in the name of fun.. even a few years ago i’d have to have drunk a bottle of wine to belt out a song karaoke style.. but this year.. when i turn 40 .. and in appreciation of life being short and just HAVING FUN, i just smashed it .. sober.. epic..  get more awesome everyone. xe



benign. thankful to be alive. Will commit to awesomeness daily and to love what i do and only do what i love. to the women battling breast cancer out there- power to you. You are an inspiration and are stronger than you ever know xe

triple test…d-day

work up pretty nervous this morning about my triple test. A good friend picked me up (Hubby in Sydney) and took me to Ascot Radiology. Had my mammogram (sooo nervous) and had to have two extra x-rays of my right boob with the lump in it. Then off to Breast Associates next door to see a lovely Dr. She initially declared that the mammogram showed nothing unusual at all (breathe out) and ran next door just to check there was nothing the radiologist might have picked up (nope!).. then a physical examination (more groping) and an ultrasound- again.. phew- nothing to indicate an obvious tumour- no “black holes”- just a solid lump of glandular tissue.. BUT.. she still thought a core biopsy was a good idea just to be certain that there is nothing pre-cancerous going on. So local anaesthetic with a lovely nurse whose hand i squeezed and who chatted away distracting me from the gun click as they took 4 (3.. then “just one more since you are coping so well”) tissue samples. I was shaky from the drugs and nerves but i did it and i am thankful- no thankful that all indicators are good.

I have to ring on Thursday (2 days) for results which I can get on the phone if positive or come in if they are not so positive.. The Dr was quite insistent about me booking my follow up in 3 months on the basis that everything was fine so that is positive..

maybe.. just maybe.. i’ll be one of the lucky ones..


#breastcancer #mammogram #positive #mindfulness #getmoreawesome

the appointment!

so heard that yesterday that my public appointment is on 6 July- nearly 8 week away. Given I am not a low risk because of my age and family history, this was a bit of a shock. I mulled it over and will pay to get the diagnostic tests done privately for about $1100- the mammogram, ultrasound, consult and biopsy. The next booking- next tuesday (like in 4 days)! i am a great believer in the public system but this is mortifying- poor people who cannot afford to pay for private testing are stuck waiting for 8 weeks.. longer if they are low risk no doubt. So the plan is to have the tests done and then refer back into the public system. I spoke to an amazing nurse who told me that they would look at the tests and i would move to the top of the list if i get a diagnosis- fingers crossed i don’t need it- but it seems the right thing to do for me. not long now…


getting more awesome

I have been weirdly happy these last few days.. I am very present and it is like this being in the moment has turned the volume up on ordinary life so much that i cam ignore the lump for now. Very cool. I am “getting” stuff like “happiness is in the little things” and the whole thing about “living one day at a time”- I sound like a self-help book. The whole thinking i might have cancer thing has been empowering is some odd way. Today is Mother’s Day in New Zealand- it was a lovely day and I was without (well mostly) any negativity- I do feel grateful for my happy healthy children and my husband who worked really hard all day to make sure I had a wicked day, lovely gifts and a rest from the housework. My kids are 7, 5 and 2 and are incredible little humans. I am  lucky today. xe

Risk Factors in Breast Cancer: Family History

grim words.. 50% higher risk for me as mum had stage 4 breast cancer.. thinking my commitment to drinking wine may double that again. fucker xe


Family History

Women with close relatives who’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer have a higher risk of developing the disease.
If you’ve had one first-degree female relative (sister, mother, daughter) diagnosed with breast cancer, your risk is doubled. If two first-degree relatives have been diagnosed, your risk is 5 times higher than average.
If your brother or father have been diagnosed with breast cancer, your risk is higher, though researchers aren’t sure how much higher.
In some cases, a strong family history of breast cancer is linked to having an abnormal gene associated with a high risk of breast cancer, such as the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. In other cases, an abnormal CHEK2 gene may play a role in developing breast cancer.

Steps you can take
There are lifestyle choices you can make to keep your risk of developing breast cancer as low it can be:
maintaining a healthy weight

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